Markus is tired, filled with the bittersweet feelings of someone who won but lost so much to get there. Like he always does when he feels pensive, he observes the world from some deserted place that's very high up. Legs hanging as he sits on the wooden beam, he glances at that old piano that he played the other time before North came to check on him, and decides not to play it. It won't drown out the things he wishes he could tune out, and he needs peace and quiet anyway.
The sight of Connor does not go unnoticed. It's so hard to pinpoint what is happening in his mind, and while Markus considers studying over and over what he can say to him he decides that is better to improvise. He jumps down, as dramatically as is typical of him, and gives Connor an acknloweding nod.
Connor doesn't often make the journey to this side of town, so close to the old sunken freighter that used to house Jericho. There are too many ghosts here, too many unsettling memories. It's not as though he'd be welcomed by most of the surviving deviants anyway. Markus may be able to set aside the things Connor had done, but he couldn't change the hearts or minds of the deviants who followed him to do the same. It was just as well. Connor isn't sure he fits in with other androids. He's always been more comfortable around humans.
"I didn't do much. You don't have to thank me." He lifts his gaze to somewhere just over Markus's shoulder as he jams his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He'd been out for a walk and somehow between thinking too much and feeling too guilty, his feet had led him here, despite himself. He wasn't expecting to find Markus here also, but he thinks he's done well in hiding his surprise.
Connor scuffs the toe of his shoe into the dirt. "It was literally the very least I could do." Especially after having led the humans straight to the deviant hideout. Connor sometimes had to wonder where Markus's easy acceptance of him came from. He'd hardly earned it.
"Oh." He nods, understanding the sentiment. "I should probably leave you to that, then. I didn't mean to interrupt." Despite his words, he makes no moves to go. Truth be told, he'd welcome some company, however brief it may be. He's been alone with his own thoughts for far too long.
"You also freed all those androids from the Cyberlife Tower. No one else could have done that."
He nods quite sternly. How did he come to such a fast acceptance, Connor may ask? He hasn't. He simply has not given himself enough time to process the implications about dynamics and relationships and all that kind of stuff. So far it was all taking huge leaps of faith trying to recover anything that was salvageable. Save the world first, ask questions later. In fact, now that he was sitting on that beam, he was just starting to realize that the physical fighting part is over.
"And don't worry. I'm not...In the condtion to think by myself just yet."
Connor scoffs. 'I almost didn't." It had been too close more than once. His eyes drop to the ground, and he has to resist the urge to pull out his quarter and start fiddling with it. He feels exposed up this high, and his mind flashes briefly back to Daniel on the rooftop. He closes his eyes for a moment, a breath of a sigh escaping him.
Maybe once Markus gives himself that time he needs to think things through, he'll find himself just as wary and unwelcoming towards Connor as most all the others. It's fine. Connor's been anticipating it for awhile now.
He looks up then, his lips thinning as he presses them together, studying Markus now. Working up his courage.
"Would you- that is to say- if it wouldn't be too much of a bother to you...?" He shakes his head, exhaling softly and trying again. "Would you mind if I stayed awhile?"
He looks at Connor somewhat absent-mindedly, he's so overwhelmed by everything still that he doesn't even register Connor as a potential threat, he's just numb to any emotional stimulus at the moment.
Connor only nods, not quite believing him. "Okay." He makes his way cautiously to a couple of meters away from the edge of the structure, but he doesn't venture out onto the beam. He isn't fond of heights, even before his deviation. He continues to stand there awkwardly, watching Markus curiously. He looks drained, the weariness plain on his face. It still surprises Connor sometimes how deviant androids can so clearly become exhausted, and it makes him wonder if it's the weight of their newfound emotions or something else equally intangible.
"I was just thinking the same of you. How have you been, really? You've no doubt been busy."
Connor's face immediately falls into concern, eyes going wide. "What are your stress levels? Do you need me to contact anyone for you?" He steps forward towards Markus, but stops well short of the edge, his fear of heights keeping him from advancing onto the beam where Markus still sits. Helplessly, he wrings his hands as he watches the deviant leader, cursing himself for allowing his stupid fears to get in the way of helping.
Connor's eyes widen in shock, as he blurts out, "what the hell, Markus!"
For the first several days after the Revolution, Connor had spent his time on the streets, putting distance between himself and the other androids for their own protection, and resting in whatever abandoned building looked secure enough for him to enter stasis for the night. Eventually, his feet had taken him to the home of the one human who'd shown him any sort of care or concern: Lieutenant Hank Anderson.
Hank's house was empty and deserted, as even police personnel had been evacuated along with the rest of the human population of the city when the androids succeeded in winning their freedom. Connor was sure that humans would eventually trickle back into the city, whether the evacuation orders were lifted or not, and he hoped Markus was aware of that as well and making plans for it.
Connor had been camped out in Hank's house, staying warm and keeping up with the news, even cleaning Hank's house in anticipation of the man's return, however long that may be. He'd done the dirty dishes, swept and mopped, and done the laundry, including the sheets and pillowcases on Hank's bed. He's fairly confident that Hank wouldn't mind his efforts, as Connor's presence could also deter potential looters among humans who might not have made themselves scarce with all the others.
Point being, there was an empty bed available where Connor was staying, quiet and secluded and unlikely to be disturbed by anyone, human and android alike. There was only one uncertainty about it, as far as Connor could determine.
He clears his throat unnecessarily, toeing the ground. "Do you trust me, Markus?"
He knows that's a loaded question to ask, and he worries his lower lip as he awaits the answer.
It is a loaded question. Markus doesn't know what the right answer is, and he knows that trying to think of it won't solve the issue, not now. But whatever he feels about it - he can't quite figure it out just yet - , he cannot belittle Connor's contribution.
"I...I can trust you."
He doesn't trust Connor yet, but he knows that he can.
"You wouldn't have taken such risks if I couldn't."
Connor was designed and built for observation. Interrogation. Being able to pick up on and analyze the smallest of body movements, the microexpressions playing across people's faces.
Markus doesn't trust him.
And Connor isn't stupid. He understands the distinctions in what Markus has said, that he can trust him, even if he doesn't yet.
Is it good enough? Maybe. It will depend on his answer to Connor's next question, even as he mentally dismisses Markus's attempt at justifying his own misgivings.
It isn't like Connor is going into this without some risk of his own, revealing his hiding place to Markus, and therefore potentially all of Jericho. He steels himself, taking a deep breath.
"I've been staying at Hank's place. It's quiet, and warm. Safe, as far aa I can tell." Connor can tell a lot. "You're welcome to come back there with me if you like, if you need to enter stasis somewhere you won't be bothered."
No, that's too big an offer. Markus could never accept. He doesn't know who this Hank is, but doesn't feel allowed to ask. No, he has to manage on his own. For Jericho.
"Thank you, but...It's probably better that I do that in Jericho."
Which he won't, because he'll be too preoccupied with others' business in there.
He's not dejected. He isn't. It was a big ask, and he was expecting rejection. It's fine, he isn't bothered by it. It's fine. He's not feeling a little hurt, not at all.
He understands, because he was the Deviant Hunter, and Markus was- still is -the Deviant Leader. He doesn't completely trust Connor, and going somewhere alone with him, deliberately out of reach of Jericho isn't a good idea, even if Connor was somehow trustworthy.
He draws himself up, keeping the hurt out of his voice.
"I understand. Please make sure that you get some rest there when you return. You won't be good for anyone if your systems are frazzled."
"So...you'll do that then, right? Get some rest?" It doesn't sound like Markus is on board with the idea.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. You're Markus. You're famous." Connor winces as soon as the words come out of his mouth. What a stupid thing to say. Does Markus even want that kind of reminder of his status when he's out here trying to get away from everyone?
Maybe if he keeps talking he'll claw his way out of this hole he's digging for himself. "Uh, but really, Hank is a good friend. He'd understand. He'd probably make the offer himself if he was here. But it's okay, I get why you're not interested."
He's...Embarrassed by being called famous? No, no, that's not the right word, but he didn't expect it. Being famous doesn't really seem like a good thing. Sure, his cause is noble, but the fact that he needed to become famous at all to bring the issue to light is kinda bad news in itself.
"Thank you. I'm just...Not sure whether it's the case to put your friend through that risk. The public opinion and the President's decisions could change at any time."
Connor doesn't necessarily disagree with the idea that being famous to shed light on a cause isn't always a good thing, but it does help. How many feel-good campaigns have been given a boost when a celebrity attaches their name to it? Becoming famous because of it can give a very- dare it be said? -humanizing appeal, giving people a recognizable face to associate with a movement.
Oh. Yeah, it also paints a pretty big target on someone when the movement isn't popular in all camps. Oops. Markus seems to be more than aware of this.
"You're right." Not that Hank would give a shit what anyone thinks. "I'll expect to hear that you've rested soon, though."
In an attempt to move past the awkwardness, he tries something else.
"Is there any way I can be of help otherwise?" He kind of doubts it; his reputation precedes him everywhere he goes, with justification. But maybe he can do something behind the scenes, where he won't have to be in everyone's faces?
Connor can't help the eagerness that creeps into his voice.
"I can do that. Not all of them I knew before the revolution liked me, but maybe now that I'm deviant some of them will come around. And of course, I'll do my best to be friendly to new humans I meet." With luck they won't pull a gun on him.
"I won't let you down, Markus." He tries for a confident smile, but settles for a pleasant expression.
Connor falters, taken off-guard by the question. His smile wavers, then drops as he shifts awkwardly.
He knows the answer, or he thinks he does? That depends, doesn't it? Was Amanda telling him the truth? Should he even mention his (former?) handler to Markus? And where did Hank fit in with it all? He takes a breath, then settles himself, willing his voice to steadiness.
"My very first mission, I was sent to negotiate a hostage situation. A deviant had taken a little girl and was threatening to jump off the roof with her." He bites at his lower lip, because Markus probably knows how this went: the deviant was shot after releasing the girl, and Connor was left reeling afterward, having promised it wouldn't be harmed. Such are the vagaries of working for (being enslaved by) humans. He shakes his head, as if to loosen the memories and fling them away.
"At any rate, when I first arrived there a fish lying in the foyer after its tank had been partially destroyed. It wasn't relevant to my mission at all, and no one else had even noticed it. But I saw it. At first, I was going to pass it by, but it was...lying there, gasping for breath, and I stopped to watch it for a moment. I picked it up, identified it, and then dropped it back into the tank. It righted itself and looked disoriented for just a second, then it recovered and swam away like nothing had happened. It felt...satisfying to watch it, knowing that if I hadn't intervened, it would have died." He pauses. "I haven't thought about that for a long time."
He risks a glance at Markus. "That was my first instance of software instability, the first of several that came after. Hank- my partner -he was strange to me, because it seemed like every time I defied my mission, Hank became more and more approving of my behavior. It wasn't until after I deviated that I realized why. I think that he was a large factor in my eventual deviation. I don't know if others deviate all at once, but mine seemed to be a gradual series of events that culminated on the bridge of the Jericho with you."
He's not sure that entirely answered Markus's question, but he'll try to elaborate if needed.
Markus's expression becomes...Wistful. He and Connor could not be more different, and yet look at that similarity. Carl inevitably comes back to his mind, and he misses him.
"I was made as a gift for Carl Manfred. He was more than just my owner...He was like a father to me. He encouraged me to develop my own identity, to make my own art. Maybe at first it was just a pastime, or a social experiment, but...He saw something in me. He let me know that it was possible for humans to see something in us, and that's why I do what I do. I owe it all to him."
North would probably be enraged at what he just said, probably with reason. Truth is that he was much too cozy in his gilded cage, coddled by his owner's gentle words. He's a bit ashamed for loving Carl, but it's one of those things that make him human as well. Maybe Connor understands.
"I know." Shit, that slipped out before he had time to think about what he was saying. "I mean, at Stratford Tower, I was there, watching the broadcast of your speech. With your skin off, I was able to identify you and your relationship to Kamski and Mister Manfred. I'm sorry, it's an automatic part of my programming. I'm trying to be better about it and respect people's privacy now. I didn't mean any offense."
But he thinks about what Markus has said, about the way Carl treated him like a person. Like a father. Like Hank sort of treats Connor.
"Some humans...they're different. Like your Mister Manfred. Like Hank." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I didn't know you're an artist."
He looks out over the city, gaze going distant, introspective. "I am, too. I'm glad Mr. Manfred saw something in you, Markus. Without you, none of us would be where we are right now. I'd be dead."
Maybe Markus had had it easy before, but he's since more than made up for it. Nobody works harder for the continued welfare of their people more than he does.
"Oh yeah, I paint and play the piano every now and then."
For some reason he mutters that, like it's too irrelevant to the conversation. He gets quizzical at that 'I am too' but then is immediately stunned afterwards by what follows.
"Someone had to step up, and I didn't mind doing that. Maybe right because of Carl, I had to."
Is it because of the way he learned that humans and androids can care about one another or the self consciousness about what he's afraid could be a blind spot? He knows that he was still a slave, and that no matter how lenient Carl was, he was never really free until he was reborn, but he secretly fears he is missing something. Each and every perspective must be taken into account if you want to be the voice of your people. All his own personal suffering through both slavery and deviancy, though? That's between him and RA9. He just won't voice that, ironically enough.
"That's really something, Markus. I didn't know that about you." Connor is enthused to learn this, quite the opposite of Markus's own reaction. He doesn't get why Markus is downplaying his talents. Connor can't do anything creative, and he's impressed. Markus is a man of many talents, it seems.
"No one else was, were they? If what you did was because of Mr. Manfred's belief in you, then I'm grateful to him as well."
He wonders whether it would change the minds of some reluctant humans if they knew the story of Carl Manfred and Markus, or if would further entrench their hatred of not only androids but the humans who support them. He doesn't want to preconstruct the odds, and shuts down the program forcibly. It's not his decision to make, anyway.
None of the androids were free until they deviated; even Carl would understand that. But Carl still gave Markus the opportunities and encouragement he needed to that final step when the time came, didn't he? Wait, Markus had asked him the question, so...how had Markus deviated? Should he ask?
"You seem troubled, Markus. Was it something I said?"
Maybe it wasn't Connor per se, but he'd been the one that kept mentioning Carl. He suddenly realizes that what he's feeling is empathy- he's putting himself in Markus's shoes, knowing how he'd feel if the situation were reversed and Hank was the one who was gone. It wasn't the same, he knows; he and Hank have known each other for only a short time, while Markus was with Carl for what was probably years. But he can understand the feeling, and that's progress for him.
He steps forward, and raises a cautious hand, tentatively laying it on Markus's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze before retreating again.
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no subject
Date: 2023-02-27 11:21 am (UTC)The sight of Connor does not go unnoticed. It's so hard to pinpoint what is happening in his mind, and while Markus considers studying over and over what he can say to him he decides that is better to improvise. He jumps down, as dramatically as is typical of him, and gives Connor an acknloweding nod.
"Connor. Thanks for the help."
no subject
Date: 2023-02-28 01:13 am (UTC)Connor doesn't often make the journey to this side of town, so close to the old sunken freighter that used to house Jericho. There are too many ghosts here, too many unsettling memories. It's not as though he'd be welcomed by most of the surviving deviants anyway. Markus may be able to set aside the things Connor had done, but he couldn't change the hearts or minds of the deviants who followed him to do the same. It was just as well. Connor isn't sure he fits in with other androids. He's always been more comfortable around humans.
"I didn't do much. You don't have to thank me." He lifts his gaze to somewhere just over Markus's shoulder as he jams his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He'd been out for a walk and somehow between thinking too much and feeling too guilty, his feet had led him here, despite himself. He wasn't expecting to find Markus here also, but he thinks he's done well in hiding his surprise.
"What brings you out this way?"
no subject
Date: 2023-02-28 09:36 pm (UTC)Not all of them, unfortunately, but it's an impossible thing to demand of anyone. Markus would know. He lets a moment of silence pass.
"I tend to come here when I want to be alone with my thoughts."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-01 01:29 am (UTC)"Oh." He nods, understanding the sentiment. "I should probably leave you to that, then. I didn't mean to interrupt." Despite his words, he makes no moves to go. Truth be told, he'd welcome some company, however brief it may be. He's been alone with his own thoughts for far too long.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-01 03:24 pm (UTC)He nods quite sternly. How did he come to such a fast acceptance, Connor may ask? He hasn't. He simply has not given himself enough time to process the implications about dynamics and relationships and all that kind of stuff. So far it was all taking huge leaps of faith trying to recover anything that was salvageable. Save the world first, ask questions later. In fact, now that he was sitting on that beam, he was just starting to realize that the physical fighting part is over.
"And don't worry. I'm not...In the condtion to think by myself just yet."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-02 01:06 am (UTC)Maybe once Markus gives himself that time he needs to think things through, he'll find himself just as wary and unwelcoming towards Connor as most all the others. It's fine. Connor's been anticipating it for awhile now.
He looks up then, his lips thinning as he presses them together, studying Markus now. Working up his courage.
"Would you- that is to say- if it wouldn't be too much of a bother to you...?" He shakes his head, exhaling softly and trying again. "Would you mind if I stayed awhile?"
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 10:30 am (UTC)He looks at Connor somewhat absent-mindedly, he's so overwhelmed by everything still that he doesn't even register Connor as a potential threat, he's just numb to any emotional stimulus at the moment.
"I'm sure you need some rest."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-04 12:27 am (UTC)"I was just thinking the same of you. How have you been, really? You've no doubt been busy."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-05 03:27 pm (UTC)"I honestly have no idea." he swiftly runs a quick diagnostic, eyes twitching rapidly "My systems seem to be overloaded."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-05 10:19 pm (UTC)"Is there anything I can do?"
no subject
Date: 2023-03-06 03:16 pm (UTC)"I'm fine, I just...Need to figure out the next steps. Figure out what to demand, and how."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-07 01:19 am (UTC)"You don't look fine, Markus. Isn't there anyone that can help you with that? People you can delegate lesser tasks to?"
He takes one more small step forward.
"When was the last time you entered stasis?"
no subject
Date: 2023-03-12 10:25 am (UTC)"...On purpose? Before I became a deviant, probably."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-12 11:33 pm (UTC)For the first several days after the Revolution, Connor had spent his time on the streets, putting distance between himself and the other androids for their own protection, and resting in whatever abandoned building looked secure enough for him to enter stasis for the night. Eventually, his feet had taken him to the home of the one human who'd shown him any sort of care or concern: Lieutenant Hank Anderson.
Hank's house was empty and deserted, as even police personnel had been evacuated along with the rest of the human population of the city when the androids succeeded in winning their freedom. Connor was sure that humans would eventually trickle back into the city, whether the evacuation orders were lifted or not, and he hoped Markus was aware of that as well and making plans for it.
Connor had been camped out in Hank's house, staying warm and keeping up with the news, even cleaning Hank's house in anticipation of the man's return, however long that may be. He'd done the dirty dishes, swept and mopped, and done the laundry, including the sheets and pillowcases on Hank's bed. He's fairly confident that Hank wouldn't mind his efforts, as Connor's presence could also deter potential looters among humans who might not have made themselves scarce with all the others.
Point being, there was an empty bed available where Connor was staying, quiet and secluded and unlikely to be disturbed by anyone, human and android alike. There was only one uncertainty about it, as far as Connor could determine.
He clears his throat unnecessarily, toeing the ground. "Do you trust me, Markus?"
He knows that's a loaded question to ask, and he worries his lower lip as he awaits the answer.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-13 10:39 pm (UTC)"I...I can trust you."
He doesn't trust Connor yet, but he knows that he can.
"You wouldn't have taken such risks if I couldn't."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-20 02:08 am (UTC)Markus doesn't trust him.
And Connor isn't stupid. He understands the distinctions in what Markus has said, that he can trust him, even if he doesn't yet.
Is it good enough? Maybe. It will depend on his answer to Connor's next question, even as he mentally dismisses Markus's attempt at justifying his own misgivings.
It isn't like Connor is going into this without some risk of his own, revealing his hiding place to Markus, and therefore potentially all of Jericho. He steels himself, taking a deep breath.
"I've been staying at Hank's place. It's quiet, and warm. Safe, as far aa I can tell." Connor can tell a lot. "You're welcome to come back there with me if you like, if you need to enter stasis somewhere you won't be bothered."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-20 12:23 pm (UTC)No, that's too big an offer. Markus could never accept. He doesn't know who this Hank is, but doesn't feel allowed to ask. No, he has to manage on his own. For Jericho.
"Thank you, but...It's probably better that I do that in Jericho."
Which he won't, because he'll be too preoccupied with others' business in there.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-22 02:17 am (UTC)He's not dejected. He isn't. It was a big ask, and he was expecting rejection. It's fine, he isn't bothered by it. It's fine. He's not feeling a little hurt, not at all.
He understands, because he was the Deviant Hunter, and Markus was- still is -the Deviant Leader. He doesn't completely trust Connor, and going somewhere alone with him, deliberately out of reach of Jericho isn't a good idea, even if Connor was somehow trustworthy.
He draws himself up, keeping the hurt out of his voice.
"I understand. Please make sure that you get some rest there when you return. You won't be good for anyone if your systems are frazzled."
no subject
Date: 2023-03-28 11:29 am (UTC)His jaw is stiff when he says it, like a human's would be.
"I don't think it would be the case to bother this Hank person, anyway."
Not everyone is cool with androids' presence. That's the whole point of Markus's protest, here.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-02 11:47 pm (UTC)"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. You're Markus. You're famous." Connor winces as soon as the words come out of his mouth. What a stupid thing to say. Does Markus even want that kind of reminder of his status when he's out here trying to get away from everyone?
Maybe if he keeps talking he'll claw his way out of this hole he's digging for himself. "Uh, but really, Hank is a good friend. He'd understand. He'd probably make the offer himself if he was here. But it's okay, I get why you're not interested."
no subject
Date: 2023-04-03 05:49 pm (UTC)"Uh."
He's...Embarrassed by being called famous? No, no, that's not the right word, but he didn't expect it. Being famous doesn't really seem like a good thing. Sure, his cause is noble, but the fact that he needed to become famous at all to bring the issue to light is kinda bad news in itself.
"Thank you. I'm just...Not sure whether it's the case to put your friend through that risk. The public opinion and the President's decisions could change at any time."
no subject
Date: 2023-04-08 01:28 am (UTC)Oh. Yeah, it also paints a pretty big target on someone when the movement isn't popular in all camps. Oops. Markus seems to be more than aware of this.
"You're right." Not that Hank would give a shit what anyone thinks. "I'll expect to hear that you've rested soon, though."
In an attempt to move past the awkwardness, he tries something else.
"Is there any way I can be of help otherwise?" He kind of doubts it; his reputation precedes him everywhere he goes, with justification. But maybe he can do something behind the scenes, where he won't have to be in everyone's faces?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-14 06:36 pm (UTC)"Nothing that comes to mind yet. Maybe you could check on the humans that you come in contact with, to see how they adjust..."
no subject
Date: 2023-04-23 09:37 pm (UTC)"I can do that. Not all of them I knew before the revolution liked me, but maybe now that I'm deviant some of them will come around. And of course, I'll do my best to be friendly to new humans I meet." With luck they won't pull a gun on him.
"I won't let you down, Markus." He tries for a confident smile, but settles for a pleasant expression.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-01 06:43 pm (UTC)Markus is almost about to take it back, but he is curious.
"What is it that made you go deviant? I can be persuasive, but I know that there's just...Something. You had it in you already, didn't you?"
no subject
Date: 2023-05-07 11:14 pm (UTC)He knows the answer, or he thinks he does? That depends, doesn't it? Was Amanda telling him the truth? Should he even mention his (former?) handler to Markus? And where did Hank fit in with it all? He takes a breath, then settles himself, willing his voice to steadiness.
"My very first mission, I was sent to negotiate a hostage situation. A deviant had taken a little girl and was threatening to jump off the roof with her." He bites at his lower lip, because Markus probably knows how this went: the deviant was shot after releasing the girl, and Connor was left reeling afterward, having promised it wouldn't be harmed. Such are the vagaries of working for (being enslaved by) humans. He shakes his head, as if to loosen the memories and fling them away.
"At any rate, when I first arrived there a fish lying in the foyer after its tank had been partially destroyed. It wasn't relevant to my mission at all, and no one else had even noticed it. But I saw it. At first, I was going to pass it by, but it was...lying there, gasping for breath, and I stopped to watch it for a moment. I picked it up, identified it, and then dropped it back into the tank. It righted itself and looked disoriented for just a second, then it recovered and swam away like nothing had happened. It felt...satisfying to watch it, knowing that if I hadn't intervened, it would have died." He pauses. "I haven't thought about that for a long time."
He risks a glance at Markus. "That was my first instance of software instability, the first of several that came after. Hank- my partner -he was strange to me, because it seemed like every time I defied my mission, Hank became more and more approving of my behavior. It wasn't until after I deviated that I realized why. I think that he was a large factor in my eventual deviation. I don't know if others deviate all at once, but mine seemed to be a gradual series of events that culminated on the bridge of the Jericho with you."
He's not sure that entirely answered Markus's question, but he'll try to elaborate if needed.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-18 03:29 pm (UTC)Markus's expression becomes...Wistful. He and Connor could not be more different, and yet look at that similarity. Carl inevitably comes back to his mind, and he misses him.
"I was made as a gift for Carl Manfred. He was more than just my owner...He was like a father to me. He encouraged me to develop my own identity, to make my own art. Maybe at first it was just a pastime, or a social experiment, but...He saw something in me. He let me know that it was possible for humans to see something in us, and that's why I do what I do. I owe it all to him."
North would probably be enraged at what he just said, probably with reason. Truth is that he was much too cozy in his gilded cage, coddled by his owner's gentle words. He's a bit ashamed for loving Carl, but it's one of those things that make him human as well. Maybe Connor understands.
"I'm glad that Hank saw something in you."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-20 12:35 am (UTC)But he thinks about what Markus has said, about the way Carl treated him like a person. Like a father. Like Hank sort of treats Connor.
"Some humans...they're different. Like your Mister Manfred. Like Hank." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I didn't know you're an artist."
He looks out over the city, gaze going distant, introspective. "I am, too. I'm glad Mr. Manfred saw something in you, Markus. Without you, none of us would be where we are right now. I'd be dead."
Maybe Markus had had it easy before, but he's since more than made up for it. Nobody works harder for the continued welfare of their people more than he does.
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Date: 2023-06-20 03:09 pm (UTC)For some reason he mutters that, like it's too irrelevant to the conversation. He gets quizzical at that 'I am too' but then is immediately stunned afterwards by what follows.
"Someone had to step up, and I didn't mind doing that. Maybe right because of Carl, I had to."
Is it because of the way he learned that humans and androids can care about one another or the self consciousness about what he's afraid could be a blind spot? He knows that he was still a slave, and that no matter how lenient Carl was, he was never really free until he was reborn, but he secretly fears he is missing something. Each and every perspective must be taken into account if you want to be the voice of your people. All his own personal suffering through both slavery and deviancy, though? That's between him and RA9. He just won't voice that, ironically enough.
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Date: 2023-06-21 12:27 am (UTC)"No one else was, were they? If what you did was because of Mr. Manfred's belief in you, then I'm grateful to him as well."
He wonders whether it would change the minds of some reluctant humans if they knew the story of Carl Manfred and Markus, or if would further entrench their hatred of not only androids but the humans who support them. He doesn't want to preconstruct the odds, and shuts down the program forcibly. It's not his decision to make, anyway.
None of the androids were free until they deviated; even Carl would understand that. But Carl still gave Markus the opportunities and encouragement he needed to that final step when the time came, didn't he? Wait, Markus had asked him the question, so...how had Markus deviated? Should he ask?
"You seem troubled, Markus. Was it something I said?"
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Date: 2023-06-21 10:33 am (UTC)His voice sounds distant, lost in thought as always.
"I just miss Carl, that's all."
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Date: 2023-06-21 05:10 pm (UTC)He steps forward, and raises a cautious hand, tentatively laying it on Markus's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze before retreating again.
"I'm sorry."
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Date: 2023-06-22 12:39 pm (UTC)Markus's smile is sad but genuine, bittersweet.
"I have many good memories with him."
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Date: 2023-06-24 12:44 am (UTC)He shakes himself, trying to throw off the mood.
"So what are you planning next?"
A revolutionary leader's work is never done.
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Date: 2023-06-24 03:26 pm (UTC)He sighs.
"Unfortunately rushing it would bring back violent opposition, but it's hard to be patient."
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Date: 2023-06-25 04:12 am (UTC)wrap?
Date: 2023-06-25 12:36 pm (UTC)Thinking will only lead to OVERthinking. It's just how Markus is, and action should be prioritized when lives are in danger.
"I go this way, you go that way?"
wrap?
Date: 2023-06-25 12:36 pm (UTC)Thinking will only lead to OVERthinking. It's just how Markus is, and action should be prioritized when lives are in danger.
"I go this way, you go that way?"